Saturday, August 2, 2014

But I AM Diabetic!!!

I have the privilege to interact with medical providers on a daily basis with my career. Some are considered experts at treating patients with diabetes and some treat patients with other primary diseases or health concerns and diabetes is a secondary concern. Regardless, I get to hear unique insight, learn new ideas, and see a large variety of variation when it comes to treating this disease.
I appreciate this aspect of my day to day job because my mindset is challenged and often that helps me with my own management of diabetes. I take home all of these little tidbits I learn throughout my days and use them to adjust my insulin, switch up my diet, and even emotionally juggle diabetes.

Disclaimer: I'm typically super enthusiastic about my health and feel very blessed in this life of mine, but even I have reality checks! If you are okay with that, please read on, if not, check back on a day I have a card or something bright and cheery posted! :)

After a brief discussion with a medical provider last week who has known me for several years, knows I fight to live a healthy life, my best life, with diabetes, it occurred to me that even with the official diagnosis, I am still supposed to fit in the box of just a person, not a person with diabetes, when he asked, "But your post-prandial is always around 140, right? Because I know you keep your A1C tight..." His response came after I had proclaimed that it had been a tough week in my own personal hell of blood sugars. I smiled and nodded in a yes politely as inside I could hear myself screaming, "But I AM diabetic! I do spike above 140 sometimes after I eat lunch, 140, 250, who's counting? Me...all the freaking time!!!"

For a person to be diagnosed with diabetes they have a fasting blood sugar above a certain number, or post-prandial, or A1C, regardless, a person reaches that diagnosis when their body no longer does it for them, whether it is because of autoimmunity, genetics, lifestyle, or a combination, their body fails them. Just like my body failed me. My pancreas is broken and yet, to live with diabetes I am put in charge of figuring it all out, all the amazing science and math that my body once did, I now do. And to be labeled as a "healthy diabetic" AKA "good diabetic" I'm supposed to have it figured out pretty well so that my moment to moment numbers resemble that of a person, just any person. Not a person with diabetes. But I AM diabetic! It's not like some incredible title that we all desire to someday achieve, but seriously, I have the diagnosis! I have to fit in the box of these tightly limiting numbers, considering my activity level, eating anything outside of protein and green vegetables, sleep or lack thereof and emotions that are simply part of life. Regardless, I will continue to fight my daily fight to fit inside this person box. Even though I'm so much more than just that person.

After all, I AM a person with diabetes!!!

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