Thursday, May 8, 2014

Irony of My Good Life

We had a heavy rain early this morning and after it stopped I decided it would be a perfect morning for a run. Blood sugar in check, no insulin on board, cut the basal rate, had my Stingers in my little zip pocket of my running tights just in case the decreased basal rate wasn't enough, I was ready!

I drove down to the trails to get a true 4 miles in using the mile markers and just enjoy the perfect morning, cool and fresh from the rain and trails that wound around the river with a few added bridges  for a touch of scenic perfection. My IPod was loaded with some favorite workout songs and as I passed mile marker 2 in the middle of Say by John Mayer I hear, "Low battery!" from a dull, irritating woman's voice that came out of nowhere. It literally took me a minute to determine it was coming from my IPod after checking my  Dexcom a few times first. I was used to "beep-beep-beep-beep" or vibrations warning me of high or low but none of my devices have actually spoken to me.

Considering myself as close to a "perfect diabetic" as I could get this morning, wouldn't you know that I had failed to fully charge the one device that keeps me motivated on a run with 2 miles left to go! Oh, the irony! I am fairly certain I let out an awkward giggle in the middle of an abandoned park and just had to laugh at myself. Because laughter in these moments of irony is just so much better than tears!

I had enough juice in the IPod to fire up the song I typically end on, Good Life by One Republic, because even with all the irony,  the "bullshit that don't work now, we've got our stories but please tell me what there is to complain about!" So true as I looked around and took a mental picture to realize I have so much to feel good about! It is these lyrics that pull me back every time. This has been the song I pick to end on every run for the past few years and the last few minutes of every run with this song playing I have the same moments of appreciation. It is here that I thank God for my legs that still carry me, my heart that pounds and my kidneys that filter, my eyes (with a slight amount of retinopathy in the left, the only true mark diabetes has left thus far in its 34 years on my body) that let me visualize the finish line, my mind that pushes me to go further. I feel closest to God in these few minutes than anything else. When I am on the trails now all the years back to when I was running the races in high school it is just me, a runner, trying to finish, competing with myself or peers or thousands in a marathon, I am viewed like everyone else because no one on the trail today or the crowd at the marathon knows I am a person with diabetes. I carry that load every day but for some reason, on these trails (as long as my blood sugar is in check) it feels so much lighter. Until the last 4:13 minutes of my run when these lyrics hit me and I know how blessed I am to have the possibility and reality of this really good life!

On a quick end note, I am thrilled that my love of running is being shared by my daughters! I coached Girls on the Run this season at their school, which is an incredible program you can learn more about here and we ran the end of season 5K this past weekend! So much fun to see their expression as they shared the joy of crossing that finish line with the crowd cheering them on and I could not be more proud of them for setting that goal and accomplishing it!

No comments:

Post a Comment